


forever isn't long enough

by actuallyshua



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, everyone is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-22 09:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19664482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: Kihyun just wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hyungwon.Or -The two times Kihyun tried to propose to Hyungwon and the one time that it actually worked. Kind of.





	forever isn't long enough

_First._

Maybe he needed to be a bit more self-aware.

Kihyun came to this realization after he heard Hyungwon's laughter ringing through the kitchen. 

It was his tone. It was all wrong. He didn't mean to sound like he was joking. Marriage was never anything to joke about in his eyes. 

When he had said, "I think we should get married," He surely didn't mean to make his boyfriend laugh. 

Sure, there was no ring. No down on one knee. No roses. No music. But Kihyun knew that Hyungwon was never one for the dramatics or for the norm. He was quiet and liked his privacy, was never showy or boastful. Kihyun had been thinking for months that a casual proposal would be best. But, as he looked down at his torn pajama pants and chewed up slippers, maybe this was a bit too casual. Kihyun looked back up at Hyungwon, who was finishing the dishes from breakfast, and sighed lightly to himself. 

"Who would be your best man?" Hyungwon asked, wiping his hands on a towel and Kihyun raised his eyebrows at the question. Was that his way of saying yes? Surely it couldn't be. This was just talk now, something to gloss over and then forget about until Kihyun could conjure up something more serious. 

"Probably Hyunwoo. Anyone else would be a mess." 

"Great," His boyfriend joined him on the couch again, "So you're leaving me to chose from the rest?" 

"What do you mean? You have to pick your brother!" 

Hyungwon rolled his eyes, leaning his head back on the back of the couch, "But he's so," There was a pause and Kihyun smiled as Hyungwon gathered his thoughts, "You know. He's just so much. Imagine him at our wedding?" 

Kihyun had. Many times. 

"Changkyun is a good kid. Ever since he met Minhyuk, he's been shaping up. I know he's been spending far less time in his pajamas and I think he's down to five Monsters a day. We have to call progress out when we see it." 

"Can't say the same for you." Hyungwon reached out, patting Kihyun's thigh before pinching the fabric of his pajama pants between his fingers. 

"It's Sunday! We always do nothing on Sundays." 

And they had for years now. It was second nature for the two of them at this point. Kihyun would always wake up first and make breakfast, always finishing right as Hyungwon would exit their bedroom, messy haired and bleary eyed. He'd smile _that smile_ and Kihyun felt like they were meeting for the first time again, fresh and new. It was sometimes strange to Kihyun. He thought that after all these years, the spark would fade. The love would still be there, that would never go away, but each day he wouldn't be swept off his feet or rendered breathless. 

But Hyungwon was always mysterious like that. 

How he'd managed to keep Kihyun feeling like a lovesick puppy despite the passed time, he would never understand. 

It was seven months ago that he decided he wanted to feel this way forever. 

They'd talked about marriage before and almost everyone in their friend group joked about them already being married anyway but that Tuesday evening was different. They were at Jooheon's birthday party, surrounded by loved ones and wine and cake. Kihyun was stuck in the middle of Changkyun and Minhyuk, the two fighting over which High School Musical film was the best, when he looked over his never ending wine glass to see Hyungwon. He was talking to Hyunwoo in the corner of the room, the two laughing about something that he couldn't hear. But that didn't matter. Hyungwon's smile, ever bright and blinding, caused his heart to swell in his chest. 

It didn't build over time like it seemed to do in the movies.

It seemed to hit him like a freight train. 

"I want to marry your brother." He had interrupted Changkyun, who quickly stopped talking and creased his eyebrows together.

"Wait," Changkyun paused, shaking his head, "I thought you guys were already married?" 

And so here Kihyun was, back in the present, with Hyungwon leaning into his side and grabbing the remote. 

"Enough wedding talk, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the chaos that would ensue with Changkyun as my best man. What do you want to watch today?" He said, tucking his legs into the couch, his shoulder digging into Kihyun's side. It was painful, but he'd never move. 

Enough wedding talk. 

Kihyun didn't care what they watched. He wasn't really paying attention anyway. In his mind, he was preparing for a real proposal. One that would sweep Hyungwon away the way that Kihyun had been swept away so many times before. 

_Second._

"Can you please just focus? I brought you here to help me. Not to get us kicked out." Kihyun whisper yelled to Changkyun, who had his nose pressed up against the glass of a jewelry case, his breath causing a fog to appear. 

"This necklace costs more than I'll ever make in my entire lifetime." 

Kihyun pulled the boy away from it, not wanting to have to pay for any damages. 

"Hello, gentlemen! How can I help you today?" A deep voice startled Kihyun and he turned to see a well dressed salesmen with a warm smile. But underneath the warm smile, Kihyun could see him eyeing Changkyun. And really, Kihyun couldn't blame him. It had taken Kihyun a solid thirty minutes to get the boy out of bed and his disheveled hair and mismatched outfit were a telltale sign of that. 

"I'm looking for an engagement ring for my boyfriend." 

"Ah," The man extended his smile, "It's so common nowadays for couples to shop together. It's a custom us jewelry stores have to get used to, I guess. Congratulations, you two." 

Changkyun dramatically gagged and Kihyun shot daggers at him, "No way, dude. He's trying to propose to my brother."

"My mistake. Congratulations none the less! My name is Hoseok, I'd be happy to help you!"

"Sorry about him," Kihyun started as he shook Hoseok's hand, "He's a bit much. I'm Kihyun, this is Changkyun, brother of the one I'm shopping for." 

"No worries. Little brother, I'm guessing? They're always hard to handle." 

Kihyun laughed at this while Changkyun pursed his lips together. There was no arguing against Hoseok's statement. Ever since Kihyun had met Changkyun, his life had been nothing short of an absolute tornado. He and Hyungwon were impossibly close, so much so that Changkyun had been given a key copy to every apartment they'd ever lived in and never knocked. Kihyun had woken up in the middle of the night on many more than one occasion to find Changkyun in their kitchen, sitting on the counter and eating all of their bread. He was boisterous and confident, outgoing and energetic, Kihyun could never find himself to be truly mad at the boy. 

He'd spent a long time getting close to him, wanting to impress him because despite everything, he knew that Hyungwon took Changkyun's opinions to heart. If Changkyun didn't like him, he would've been out the door a long time ago. 

"I'm just here to make sure he doesn't blow it like he did before. You know what happened? He thought that simply bringing up marriage to my brother counted as a proposal. Come on! Totally tanked it. Didn't even get down on one knee." 

Kihyun could tell Hoseok was trying to hold in his laughter and he exhaled dramatically, "Just laugh at me! I don't know what I'm doing, really. I just want to marry him."

Changkyun wrinkled up his face in disgust, but thankfully Hoseok cut him off before he could speak, "That's exactly what I'm here for. Do you know what you're looking for?" 

He did but he also didn't. He knew Hyungwon wouldn't want anything flashy or dramatic. And in the end, they'd have wedding bands anyway. Kihyun really saw the engagement ring as more of a formality, more so as something to make it real. A symbol of togetherness that they've never had before. 

They spent the better half of an hour looking at various rings, nothing really looking right, or giving him any sort of feeling of excitement. Not that anything was Hoseok's fault. Kihyun rather enjoyed the man's company. He was funny and smart, sharp and pleasant. He kept up with Changkyun's quick remarks, something only a handful of people could do. But he really seemed to care about this proposal. His passion for love showed through everything he said. 

"Hey, Ki. Check out this one." Changkyun spoke and Kihyun looked over to him. He was standing on the other side of the store now, looking down at a case. 

Hoseok followed from behind the counter as Kihyun made his way over, peering over Changkyun's shoulder. 

"Which one?"

"Here," He tapped his finger against the glass, "The black and gold one." 

And wow. Changkyun had a great eye.

The ring was beautiful, to say the least. It wasn't too heavy or too thick like the other black rings he'd seen. Not gaudy or trying too hard to be "manly". It was simple matte black with a yellow gold band through the middle. 

"Excellent choice, Changkyun. This is a Black Tungsten ring. Not very typical, we don't sell too many. Would you like me to take it out so you can get a better look?" Hoseok asked and Kihyun nodded, smiling lightly, "Yes, please." 

Hoseok was quick to unlock the case and delicately take out the ring, placing it on a velvet red pillow before sliding it over to Kihyun. 

He knew it was the one because his hands shook lightly as he picked it up. He knew it was the one because his heart melted and picked up the pace somehow that the same time. He knew it was the one because it reminded him of everything Hyungwon was. Elegant, graceful, simple yet perplexing, perfect. 

"So, what do you think?" Hoseok broke the silence and Kihyun skyrocketed back to reality.

"I'll take it." 

And take it he did. Luckily for him, Hyungwon wasn't home when the two arrived back and Kihyun quickly hid the small black box in his sock drawer, knowing that the hiding place wouldn't last long. He needed to give this to Hyungwon tonight. It had to happen. 

It took him twenty minutes to get Changkyun out the door and when it finally clicked behind the arguing boy, Kihyun enjoyed a few moments of the silence to himself. Would everything change after this? He wasn't sure it could. It had been five years already. Kihyun knew Hyugnwon like the back of his hand, like his favorite book that he'd read hundreds of times before. Nothing would change, he told himself. Things would just elevate. There would just be _more._ More love, more time together planning, more Hyungwon. 

That was all he ever wanted. 

He planned everything out perfectly. Ordered Hyungwon's favorite food. Lit his favorite candles. Even set the table the _right_ way without any paper plates. He was pacing the length of the table now, chewing on the skin around his fignernail. Hyungwon would be home from work at any second and the small black box seemed to be burning a hole right through his pants. 

"This is stupid. So stupid. God. What if he says no? What is h-"

His negative train of thought was interrupted by the door opening and Kihyun perked up as Hyungwon walked through, eyes heavy and face long. He immediately frowned. 

"Hey, babe. Are you alright?" He walked up to Hyungwon, taking the man's briefcase and setting it down on the ground. 

"I had the absolute worst day at work. I blew a major case and spent the entire day getting chewed out for it. I've never been so off my game before. I just feel like an idiot." 

"You're not an idiot," Kihyun was quick to brush Hyungwon's long black hair out of his eyes, letting his hand rest on his cheek, "You just had an off day. It happens. Here, look. I ordered your favorite!" 

Hyungwon sighed and leaned into his touch, placing a gentle kiss to the palm of Kihyun's hand before opening his eyes again, "I appreciate you so much, Kiki. I just really want to take a bath and go to bed right now. I'm sorry. Can you just put it in the fridge for us to eat later?" 

Kihyun's swollen heart deflated in his chest and he swallowed a scream. Not at Hyungwon. Never at Hyungwon. He was allowed to have a bad day. 

"Yeah, yeah. Of course." He barely got out. 

Hyungwon looked over Kihyun and his eyes seemed to sink even more, "Oh, baby. You even lit candles. I'm so sorry. Forget it, I'll get over it, okay? Let's eat a nice dinner." 

He was quick to shake his head, lowering his hands and interlocking them with Hyungwon's, giving him a comforting squeeze. Hyungwon didn't need dinner and candles and a stumbled and nervous proposal right now. He needed a bubble bath and a good night's sleep. Kihyun knew that. He accepted and embraced that in a matter of seconds. 

"It's okay. You don't have anything to apologize for. I'll clean this up and you go ahead." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Never been more sure. Now go on, get. I washed the sheets today too, so they'll be nice and cozy for you." 

Hyungwon laughed lightly at this, resting his forehead against Kihyun's and rubbing their noses together, "What did I do to deserve you?" 

"Probably saved the world in a past life." Kihyun joked, connecting their lips for just a brief moment. 

"I love you." 

He smiled, unable to contain it, "I love you too." 

The burning in his pocket subsided as Hyungwon kissed him again before disappearing into their bedroom and he looked at the set table. Kihyun blew out the candles and nodded a couple of times to himself.

It didn't have to be right now. He had time. He had nothing but time. 

_Third. And Final._

This was it. 

This was his chance. 

Since they had woken up, it had been an amazing day. The forecast had said it was supposed to pour, thunder, and lightning. But when they woke up, clear skies and sunshine. Hyungwon had suggested they take the opportunity to go to the zoo, something they've wanted to do for the past couple of Saturdays but never were able to. The little lightbulb over Kihyun's head lit up as soon as Hyungwon had brought it up and he immediately agreed. 

"I heard the cafe has animal shaped bread and I am absolutely going to get the koala one. Oh, there's a gift shop. It's almost Hyunwoo's birthday, you know. We can maybe find something cute for him there! He's such an animal lover." Hyungwon spoke as they were riding the crowded bus to the zoo, fingers interlocked and Kihyun bouncing his leg with his excess nervous energy. He'd managed to toss the ring into his pocket while Hyungwon wasn't looking and he kept touching the fabric of his pants to feel that it was still there.

Was it a horrible idea to bring the ring without the box? Absolutely. 

Was that going to stop him? No. 

"We can get him a little tiger plushie. He loves those." 

Hyungwon chuckled at this, "Every time he has a birthday, I feel like we're shopping for a child." 

Kihyun was staring at him now. He couldn't help it. Hyungwon was always beautiful, like the most delicate and well thought out piece of art he'd ever seen. But something about this day was different. He was glowing like a firefly in the darkness. Radiating warmth that paralleled the sun. Kihyun didn't know what it was, why it happening, but he didn't care. He was just so happy that it was. Feeling so lucky to be able to bask in Hyungwon's light and know that it was just for him. 

They arrived at the zoo after two bus changes, one lost and then found cell phone, three stops for tying shoelaces, and six trips over the broken sidewalk later to find it jammed with people, just as they had suspected. Kihyun would have to strategically find a quieter spot, knowing Hyungwon probably wouldn't like the dramatics of a crowded, public proposal. 

"What do you want to see first?" Hyungwon let go of Kihyun's hand and opened the map, "I'm thinking if we start at the tigers and then work our way all the way around, we'll end at the wolf sanctuary. I know that's your favorite so we can save it for last." He looked up and smiled, catching Kihyun's eyes. 

"Sounds great. I think the cafe is like right in the middle, right? So we can work up an appetite." 

They joined hands again and started their adventure down the stone pathways, the tension inside of Kihyun building to such a height that he thought he would explode at any moment. Luckily for him, Hyungwon didn't seem to catch on to any of his nerves and continued throughout the day lightly and happily. He would excitedly point at any animal doing something cute and beg Kihyun to take photos of him in front of each sanctuary. Not that it was really begging as Kihyun loved to photograph Hyungwon. 

Just as he had said, when they reached the cafe Hyungwon bought all of the koala shaped bread and stuffed most of them into his bag, claiming to save them for later. Later, Kihyun knew, meant as they walked and on the bus rides home. There was no way any of that bread would make it through the threshold of their apartment. They grabbed a table on the outside patio of the cafe, Kihyun watching as Hyungwon leaned his head back and basked in the sun for a moment before running his hands through his hair and rejoining reality.

"It's a really beautiful day, isn't it?" 

"Yeah, it is." Kihyun wasn't talking about the day like Hyungwon was. 

Hyungwon reached across the table, taking one of his hands and smiling, "Thank you for this." 

"For what?" Kihyun raised his eyebrows. Admission to the zoo was free and they both had bus passes. Hyungwon had even paid for lunch. What was there to thank him for? 

"Everything. Beautiful days. Beautiful company." Hyungwon squeezed his hand and Kihyun let out a nervous chuckle, trying to ignore how he was blushing like a child. 

"Why are you being so cheesy?" 

Was Hyungwon onto him? No, there was no way. He'd been keeping a very cool exterior this entire day, there was no way Hyungwon knew what was going to happen. 

"Am I not allowed to be cheesy and in love with my boyfriend?" 

"Of course you are. You're just usually," Kihyun paused as their food arrived and he quickly thanked the server, "Not." 

"So then you should be excited." Hyungwon winked at him before diving into his food and Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows. 

Something was up. 

But he chose to ignore it and instead take the rest of their trip in stride, the wolf sanctuary rapidly approaching them. It was always the quietest in this area. The endless twists and turns of the stone pathway with glass surrounding them. The wolves were always hard to see as they really only came out during nighttime and the daytime visitors were always left to stare at nothing but foliage and the occasional bird that would land on the branches. A few other people peppered the walkway and Kihyun was willing them with his mind to just keep walking, to go away. 

Weirdly, in a matter of seconds, the path was clear and he and Hyungwon were enveloped in silence. 

Hyungwon gasped lightly and grabbed Kihyun's arm, "Kiki, look! Oh my god. It's a wolf! We've never seen one!" 

Quickly, Kihyun focused his eyes towards where Hyungwon was pointing and stepped towards the glass, amazed at the sight before him. 

It really was a wolf. Standing strong and proud and, very intimidatingly, staring at them. It scared him a little bit, really. He'd always loved wolves so much but had never actually seen one, never been lucky enough to catch one in the sun. But here he was. Heart thumping in his chest for more than one reason, more than just the fear of the wolf. 

Now. It was now or never. 

He turned to face Hyungwon, grabbing the man's hand before taking a deep breath, "Hyungwon. There's something I have to tell you." 

"W-" Hyungwon started but quickly stopped and widened his eyes as Kihyun dropped to the ground.

He dropped to his knee a little too hard out of nervousness and tried not to flinch as his bone hit the pavement, but nonetheless, he swallowed his fear and tried to catch his breath, remember his words. 

"I love you. I've loved you for such a long time and I want to for a long time after this. People always say that we'll be together forever, you know? Soulmates, destined to be, tied by the red string of fate. That no one in this world could complete me, or put up with me, as much as you do. But I don't believe that because I don't believe that even forever is long enough with you. But that's all we have, so that's what we have to work with. I can't imagine my life with anybody but you and I don't want to. There's never been anybody but you, Hyungwon. So, at the end of the day, at the end of this absolutely horrible speech, I just have to ask you," He quickly dug into his pocket, relieved to feel the ring still in it, and he pulled it out, presenting it to Hyungwon, "Will you marry me?" 

Kihyun tried not to let the silence get to him. Tried not to think too much about it. Hyungwon's wide eyes and slack jaw were all signs of shock. He was just so surprised that he couldn't speak.

Right?

"Shut up."

Well, that certainly wasn't the answer Kihyun was hoping to get. 

"What? Shut u-"

Hyungwon joined him on the ground, seizing his smaller hands and pulling them close, the ring getting lost under Hyungwon's larger palms, "Shut up, Yoo Kihyun, you little devil. You stole my thunder!" 

Kihyun's mind was racing and he felt like he might be sick from sheer confusion. 

"What are you talking about? Are you saying no? Please just tell me no, oh my god. Don't drag this o-"

"I said," Kihyun was cut off by a slender finger against his lips, "Shut up." 

The finger disappeared and Kihyun watched with curious eyes as Hyungwon dug through his bag for a moment before pulling something out. 

Something that Kihyun recognized immediately. 

A small black box. 

Hyungwon opened it slowly and oh, how Kihyun could cry. Part from an overwhelming feeling of pure love and part from the hysterics of this entire situation. 

"I was going to propose to you today. Here. With the wolves. And you bought the exact same fucking ring as me," Hyungwon was crying now, the tears dripping over his lips that were stretched out into a smile and Kihyun let his own emotion start to flow out, "I should've known you'd do something like this. But like you said, no one completes you the way that I do. So of course we had the same idea. 

"I," Kihyun started but wasn't sure how he was going to finish, "I love you." He decided to say and that was really the only thing he _could_ say. What other phrase could encapsulate what was happening? That he and his boyfriend bought each other the same ring? Had the exact same idea for proposing, down to even the smallest of details? Nothing. Absolutely nothing but love could describe this. 

"I love you too."

They both stood up and Hyungwon's arms snaked around him quickly. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. It didn't matter. This could've been the rest of his life, in this moment, and he would've been absolutely content with that. Forever with Hyungwon in his arms was a forever of joy and love and warmth. Of feeling like nothing in this world could hurt him. That he was always protected and safe, comfortable and satisfied. 

But eventually, Hyungwon broke them apart, keeping his hands on Kihyun's face. 

"So," He squished Kihyun's cheeks together, "What do you say? We're doing this?" 

Slowly, Kihyun grabbed Hyungwon's left hand and slide the ring over his finger, the piece of jewelry fitting like a glove. 

He extended his own left hand and Hyungwon laughed lightly, doing the exact same. 

Their eyes connected and in perfect harmony, just like everything else they did, they both said, "Yes." 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> this was a commission for [nina](https://twitter.com/hyngki)  
> thank you so so so much for commissioning me!  
> i really hope you enjoyed these two idiots <3 
> 
> if you'd like to, feel free to check out [my twitter](https://twitter.com/hongshus) and take a look at my other commissions. i'm still open and write for a wide variety of fandoms. 
> 
> comments and kudos always appreciated 
> 
> thanks again nina!


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